We've all heard of red flags with the way that they're posted all over your timeline these days. But what about green flags? That sounds like a bit of fresh air to filter out whatever's festering in today's dating pool. And it's no secret that it's literally trash - plain and simple. Here's some insight on how to start seeing progress in your dating journey.
"According to CNBC Make It, "A relationship or dating green flag is an indicator that the relationship is worth continuing to explore," says Jessica Small, marriage counselor and therapist at Growing Self Counseling in Denver."
Natural and Consistent Communication. In the beginning stages of dating, how many times has communication fell off, leaving you wondering if they're still on board? According to Small, it's all about follow throughs.
Does the person call or text when they say they will?
Does communication seem to flow naturally?
Does the person practice good communication without leaving you hanging?
The last thing you want is to be left figuring things out - and you know us woman can go from calm, cool, and collective to top notch detective as soon as our antennas go up. You don't need that kind of energy in your life.
"You do not want to constantly be trying to decode what someone is saying or questioning if they are going to be in touch when they say they will," says Small.
2. Appropriate Sharing. Balanced sharing in a new relationship is a green flag. It's healthy! No one is oversharing crazy ex stories or war stories immediately after meeting, which can send one running out of the door.
"When a person is able to share enough information about themselves that you feel like you're getting to know them and understand them over time, but you're still curious to know more, that's a good sign," she says.
Personally, I've been in dating situations where the other person shared about their ex every minute they could get, even if it was an innocent story. I believe if they are giving vibes about past baggage or past feelings, it may be a no go.
Smalls mentioned that it's okay to mention their ex, but talking about an ex should not dominate the conversation. However, I can remember in the past, when I could have been a bit of a "red flag." Sometimes, a new ear can feel like a breath of fresh air when you want to vent. So I remember being asked about past relationships and going on a rant. This is far from what you want to do, according to Smalls.
"If a potential partner asks what happened in your last relationship on date one, you might say, 'We grew apart," she says. On date two, if asked, you might add a few more pieces of information but still keep it simple."
She reiterates that the beginning of the relationship is about building trust and figuring out if the person deserves to know everything about you in the first place. Moving too fast is also a red flag in my opinion.
3. Similar Interests. Finding someone who shares your interests is fun and exciting. But be careful not to allow it to overlook some of the more crucial aspects for a potential long-term relationship. But it's important to have some interests in common - and be honest about your beliefs. Don't just agree to make a match.
4.Respect for Boundaries. Now, I can say that this should've been #1. In my opinion, when someone has a motive, they just don't care about your boundaries. They have an objective and they want to get it by any means necessary.
Small says, "A green flag is when a potential partner is considerate and aware of your boundaries. They ask for clarification on them when they are unclear, and does not push them."
This happens a lot when dating. You may tell someone that you don't meet at their house on first dates, or that you don't engage in certain behavior. If they respect that, then it's a go. However, if they keep suggesting ways to get you in their bed, that's a red flag.
5.They Are Supportive. This green flag, I decided to add to the list because support is important. I mean no one is going to go out of their way to be supportive of everything on the first date, but a "Hey, that sounds like a great idea" or "Here's a few ideas on this business idea or weight-loss effort," can go a long way.
Someone who is interested in you will also show support for your dreams, ideas and lifestyle. Additionally, you want someone who wants to build and grow with you long-term.
Happy hunting!
Written by: Taylor Bennett
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