Calling it quits. It's common. But, it seems that today's relationships end faster than a New Year's Resolution. Just look at some of the short-term celebrity relationships we see in the media. I think it's safe to say that it's worth looking at some of the early signs and patterns that may be ending your relationship prematurely. Here are a few unhealthy habits.
1. Not listening. Listening to understand instead of listening to respond is key. Most of us, in the heat of the moment or in the mist of excitement in the dating stage, want to get our point across or tell our side of the story. However, listening is essential in all good communication. If you're not listening effectively, you can easily get the wrong message, which may make or break your relationship. A relationship is at it's strongest when both people feel heard and understood. Communication is one of the most important parts of maintaining a good relationship.
2. Insecurity. Insecurity can be a number 1 killer in a relationship - it should have been first. It can be difficult to feel loved if you are not feeling worthy of love. Not feeling worthy leads to distrust, jealousy and all types of unattractive behavior. An insecure person will constantly feel inadequate and see problems where they don't exist.
3. Dishonesty. What happens in the dark always comes to light. Let's be honest, no one respects a liar. You should always feel comfortable expressing how you you feel or being honest about your feelings. Don't hesitate to open up and be vulnerable about your feelings - it creates an intimacy, closeness and bond that can't be replaced. Honesty builds trust!
4. Selfishness. A relationship is a two-way street and both parties should be putting in an effort. If one person is doing more than the other, they will begin to feel unappreciated. Hence, trying to make a compromise when meeting your partner's needs, will create a more balanced and happy relationship.
5. Being Unsupportive. How do you react when your partner discusses their dreams or goals? Are you competitive or jealous? There's nothing worse than feeling like a competitor in your own relationship or trying to outshine one another. If you're not able to nurture your partner's dreams as well as help them grow, then you are dead weight! A relationship that has potential should bring the best out in your partner and encourage them to reach their highest self.
6. Not Taking Accountability. There comes a time when you have to stop playing the blame game. It takes two to have a problem. What part did you play in the situation? People often deflect ownership of their behaviors and blame them on their partner. However, the problem begins when you never make a an effort towards change. Taking accountability shows that you have control over your issues and are willing to make changes. In turn, it encourages your partner to be open and vulnerable with you.
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