When people say the word "mentally strong," it sort of falls under the category of overused cliche's that people use to describe someone who just doesn't let life get to them, right? I mean...what is mentally strong anyway? Everyone has a breaking point.
And while, I have struggled to get over certain situations myself, I began to study ways that make it easier to bounce back. Being strong does mean finding a solution for yourself! But that's not it. There's certain habits that people who appear to adapt and cope better avoid. And it all boils down to changing your thinking.
They Don't Sit Around Feeling Sorry For Themselves. I think at one point in my life, I was the queen of self-pity! You ever notice how easy it is to wallow in your sorrow when things don't go how you want them to - it almost feels satisfying. Yikes! So you've been dumped or fired. Grieve, but it's not the end of the world. It's not the easiest thing to do, but mentally strong people avoid personalizing there mishaps and avoid falling into the habit of "woe it's me." They also avoid speaking negatively about themselves and their situations because they recognize that, "life and death are in the power of the tongue." Self-pity only leads to more negative thoughts, words and behaviors. So next time you catch a bad break, show yourself compassion! You are worth it!
2. They Are Not Controlled By Others. It is never on a strong woman's agenda to sit at home and wait by the phone or to be controlled by mind games. Games are for the weak. If she gets any sense that you're a gamer, she will be out of there with no trace. Strong women don't allow other's opinions to control them. They do not give another person power over them. They understand that the only person in control of their emotions is themselves.
3. They Don't Feel The World Owes Them. I used to get offended if I was in trouble and a friend didn't help or a guy friend didn't offer to help me in distress because I know that I would do it for them. However, one piece of advice that my mother told me that I will always remember is, "Keep your head up. The world owes you nothing." And she is right! So instead of getting mad at the next person for not showing up, remember that a strong woman shows up for herself. Besides nagging that date or guy for help is unattractive and comes off as needy. Why not give it a shot on your own.
4. They Don't Fear Being Alone. A mentally strong woman doesn't need other's to feel important or validated. in fact, she is able to enjoy time alone. They don't feel anxious alone with their thoughts - and if they do, they will cope appropriately. They recognize how to pour into themselves, practice self-love and be productive. This is one sign of personal growth.
5. They Don't Fear Rejection or Failure. "At first if you don't succeed. Then dust yourself off and try again." - Aaliyah. What does it take to win?...Failure of course. A strong woman isn't discouraged by a few bangs and bruises, she is determined to find a way. They don't focus on bruised egos, and they recognize that everyone goes through rejection.
6. They Are Not Focused On The Past. You ever met someone who is constantly bringing up old things, even when you're trying to grow? Counterproductive right? A strong woman doesn't go back and think about what could've been but is focused on what could be. You are stronger in the now, than you are in the past. If you can focus on how to take advantage of the present moment, next time you may win!
7. They Don't Compare Themselves. What makes a woman strong is that she embraces herself, no matter her differences. Her uniqueness is grounds to revel in self-love. She knows that everyone is made differently, heals in their own time and shines when it's their time. Therefore, she cheers for her sister rather than try to break her down.
Good luck in your journey!
Written by: Taylor Bennett
IG: @AuthorTaylorBennett
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