During lunch yesterday, my girl and I toasted to being single. "Cheers to avoiding the pressure on a woman to find a partner," we cheered. I mean who said that being single has to be uncomfortable or has to make one feel like a fish out of water anyway? However, no matter how much we chanted or cheered, we couldn't ignore the fact that society's pressure existed and it wore heavy on our biological clocks like a ton of bricks.
Experts can't exactly pin-point where the pressure comes from but experts say it's linked to culture, religion and gender roles. Maybe from an aunt or cousin asking that dreadful question during the holidays, "have you met someone yet?"
I was surprised last week, on February 14th, 2021, Singer Mya told her fans that she'd be revealing her wedding partner on Valentine's Day. Turns out, it was herself! Now, I am not saying that I agree with Sologamy. However, I believe that singleness is actually very sacred and God wants you to honor this time by giving it completely to Him.
Society has a deep-rooted belief that marriage is a requirement to be happy. It tells us that women are not worthy if they don't find a partner. And so many women measure their value by the size of their wedding ring or by having someone to love them. This can lead to feelings of depression, loneliness and inadequacy. I can't tell you how many times I've seen women use relationships as a sense of security, comfort or sense of belonging.
For many years, I felt the same way until the day when I had to find my own security.
The truth is that not everyone will get married and that is okay. But in the meantime why not use this time to discover your purpose, heal and become the person who God has called you to be. Perhaps, you will meet someone along the way!
But keep in mind, happiness shouldn't be found in our circumstances because then it is not based on something that is actually secure. We could lose everything we own in a day. So what is our value actually determined by? Our value is determined by the Christ in you, the hope of Glory - (Col 1:27)
It has always been a tough concept to understand that God is with us and that we should be married to him in our singleness. Therefore, all of these things that we look for in a partner is found in Him. He can provide all of your needs according to his riches and glory. That alone is security to stand on. Instead of standing on the security of relationships, try standing on God's promises for yourself. It will last for a life time.
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