Before I began my gratitude journey, I always felt a persistent feeling of nothingness that new and exciting writing projects, money, or binge-watching Kdrama couldn’t take away. Because I was born and raised in the Church, I expected that serving God would give me the joy, happiness, and fulfillment I needed in life. But, I completely ignored that I have a responsibility as a Christian to give thanks even in bad times.
1st Thessalonians 5:16-18 (MSG) reads, “Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.”
After I started being thankful for even the smallest things, I began to sleep more deeply, manage stress effectively, feel more confident, and there is that warm feeling when I think, “Ah! I have the power to choose to be happy.”
Not only did gratitude help me heal from hurts inflicted on me by myself and others, but it also helped me become significantly happier and healthier. My relationship with myself and others is now guided by compassion.
Practicing gratitude has helped me develop a strong sense of faith. I no longer catastrophize or let my anxiety loose when confronted by unpleasant situations. Instead, I throw my mind back to hardships I've overcome in the past and express gratitude for how they have made me a stronger and more informed woman. And then, I say to myself, “This too shall pass.”
Am I Selling You A Fairytale?
NO. I don’t expect my life (or anyone else’s) to be all red roses just because I practice gratitude. I still have shitty days and am hurt by people. Practicing gratitude hasn’t made me a perfect or ideal person based on society’s standards (or any standard at all, except mine). It has tremendously helped my emotional health, which, in turn, has impacted other domains of my wellness.
When I first started practicing gratitude, I struggled with the feeling of betrayal. By shifting my focus to the positives, I felt like I was only dumping my present emotions to venture into the sunset or robbing myself of meaningful experiences just because I didn’t want to entertain the feeling of failure, insufficiency, or maybe sadness from a breakup.
I constantly asked myself, “Isn’t it okay to not be okay?” “Did I need to shift my focus to the positives when all I wanted to do was fix on and stay with the negative emotions I was feeling?”
Strangely, negative emotions made me feel more human. But they soon started to feel so overwhelming, and I only knew how to attract them. I was never happy; I began to loathe myself, and I unconsciously created a negative atmosphere many people couldn't stand.
I decided to try gratitude differently. This time, not as an avoidance or shove-under-the-carpet tool but a self-regulation and mind renewal strategy instead.
Here are the things I did:
I allowed myself to feel negative emotions like deep sadness or anxiety, and I explored why I experienced them in the time and intensity that I did.
Then, I made them into life lessons that I needed to learn.
Finally, I would express gratitude for my ability to express my emotions appropriately and for other good things that happened during the day.
Doing this gave me more power over my thoughts, emotions, and words and allowed me to experience negative emotions without developing a negative perspective toward life.
Practicing Gratitude
Many hours before I started writing this blog, I had to muster the courage to share my struggles as a Black woman who suffers extreme anxiety and situational depression but still manages to stay hopeful and grateful more days than not. There are days when I’m too caught up in my feelings to remember to pray, worship, or express gratitude for being alive or having supportive people in my small circle.
Still, I keep on trying. I don’t mind working gratitude into my daily life in unconventional or imperfect ways because I am imperfect. I believe that the beauty or power of any life hack or wellness tip is in my ability to make it mine, to adapt it to who I am. And so, I hope that you do the same on your gratitude journey
The following are words of advice I recommend for anyone looking to change their life using gratitude:
Expressing gratitude doesn't have to be grand. It is as easy as saying, “Thank you for loving me,” to a family or friend who stands by you. And if you wish to be grand about it, do something nice for someone.
You need to slow down and start growing aware of the people and things happening around you. For example, stop rushing your breakfast or lunch. Instead, take your time to enjoy the flavors of your meal and be thankful for the nourishment they provide to your body.
Keep on practicing gratitude even after you start seeing changes.
Do YOU. There isn’t a right or wrong way to practice gratitude. Write in your gratitude journal as often as you can, use a mobile app, or talk to someone if you feel like it.
I wouldn’t bluff and say that I write in my gratitude journal every morning (I always end up using my gratitude journal for some other type of writing!), but I am usually quick to use the voice recorder on my phone whenever I feel like it. Voicing my thoughts and recording the things I’m grateful for is not only convenient for not-so-organized and on-the-go life, but it also helps me track my growth better.
Listening to some of my previous recordings makes me laugh while some move me to tears, but for every one of them I listen to, again and again, I always feel gratitude well up within me.
Written by: Chelsea
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